So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
