It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He had one of those small greek statue penises
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
