Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize
