Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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