You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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