You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
