I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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