help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
