Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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