plz talk dirty to me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
