She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
