I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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