i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
