i just had sex bonerless
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
