well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
