My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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