There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
