So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
