just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
