I love black thongs
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
