I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
