Got a toothbrush?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
