So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
a search helicopter?!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
