He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
