i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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