I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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