Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
