Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
