Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize