Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
