Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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