I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We smell like vodka and hangover
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
