she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
There are leaves in my underwear?
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