I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
