Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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