Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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