Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
