Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
