i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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