Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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