i don't like sucking hair
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
