James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
