i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
