OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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