is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It was confusing and full of hummus
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
