just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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