pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
