i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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