Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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