Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
