so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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