Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I got inside last night via doggy door
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
