So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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