he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think I am morally bankrupt
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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